Entertainment: HDTV and Blu-ray get hitched
By The Vann’s Editorial Team
Last revised October 12th, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009, marked the commitment of HDTV and Blu-ray to live in harmony for the rest of their days. The father of the bride, CRT television, proudly escorted his daughter down the aisle, while the parents of the groom, DVD player and Laser Disc, smiled from the front pew. The groom’s grandfather and great-uncle, VCR and Beta, were even seen shaking hands shortly before the candlelight ceremony, ending a decades-long feud. The bride was radiant in a gown made of millions of pixels. Uniform black tuxes, and a single glowing blue display on the groom’s side provided the perfect complement. The matron of honor was HD camcorder. The bride’s other attendants included TiVo, Apple TV, and longtime friend Cantilever Mount. OLED TV made an adorable flower girl, adding a moment of levity when she stopped halfway to the altar and refused to throw any more flower petals. Subwoofer served as best man, while Center Channel and twins Front Left and Front Right rounded out the groomsmen’s lineup. During the ceremony, the full 7.1-surround sound family performed a moving rendition of Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I Do It For You).” During the vows, written by the bride and groom, HDTV swore to “honor and faithfully recreate every high definition signal” sent by Blu-ray, while the groom pledged to “communicate fully in the highest resolution possible.” The two exchanged gold-tipped HDMI cables as a symbol of their love and fidelity. The theater-side ceremony was attended by hundreds of friends and relatives. Several famous Blu-ray Discs were seen entering the reception theater through the side door to avoid lingering paparazzi, while their less famous cousins, Vudu and Netflix HD kept the photographers entertained with an impromptu shouting match outside the front doors. The reception featured the smooth musical stylings of McIntosh Turntable. The only potential disaster of the evening was the appearance of Blu-ray’s cousin HD DVD. Though words quickly grew heated between the two former rivals, VCR and Beta stepped in to share their own story of recently healed bitterness in hopes of heading off another family divide. After apologizing and hugging, the cousins were heard exchanging, “I love you, man,” and “No, I love you!” The bride and groom are currently employed in the same living room, flawlessly creating a movie-theater atmosphere with crystal-clear, high definition video and full 7.1-channel surround sound.